Anyone get cold feet before they move?

Hey Scotlandbound,

I have--in my (yes, amazingly) 3 years of planning to move to the UK--had 2 breakdowns over stress with the process and the thoughts of leaving everything behind and moving to something I barely knew. Both were in the past six months, as well. One was while I was visiting my boyfriend in the summer, the other in October, when he visited me for unexpected (and depressing) reasons--though the second one was obviously much more understandable. I've also gone through many, many instances of cold feet.

I'm moving to the UK for both the opportunity of something new, and to be with my boyfriend. We've been dating 'officially' on and off for 2 1/2 years, but have known each other for 9. I'm a military brat so I've moved often in my life, but I was always young enough that I never had to deal with any of the stress of it. I only enjoyed the happy thoughts of a new adventure as kids usually do. Now that I have to deal with the stress, I've lost those thoughts, and thinking back on it, I think it would be much easier to use acrossthewall's advice and write out a list of things you're -really- looking forward to.

Also all the other advice is quite exceptional and should help as well, as I will be taking most of it myself. It is not unusual to get cold feet, I've come to realize, but just try to relax and look forward to all the great opportunities you'll experience. (And, perhaps, treat yourself to something to help you relax, even if it's as simple as a chocolate bar!)

Good luck. ^-^

I love Edinburgh, its one of my most favourit places on earth!

Last night I was watching Anthony Bourdain on Travel Channel and he was in Edinburgh and found a chip shop that does deep fried haggis! I went upstairs and told my husband we have to go back!

I found this thread really helpful. I, too, am having second thought but someone at work told me, give yourself a year, you can always come home but if you never go you may regret it for the rest of your life.

I enjoy hearing everyone's experiences.

Aaahhhhhh, help guys.

I would love to know how this went for you and how you are now as im of on the 6th of this month with a working visa to Canada and feeling the same as you felt. I'm thinking of making some stupid reason why i cant go! Im just going to go for it tho and see what happens. Its a year and can always come home if i dont like it.

I need to do it tho and had it planned for a ear and a half.

P.S.

I know this is an old post but can anyone give me some advice please.

Cheers guys.

Heeey. The only advice I can give is "go for it!" As you said, you can always go home.

I've been living in the UK with my boyfriend now for 3 months (OMG!) and it's been so great! I got a job I love, new friends, new expierences, and my life and confidence have all picked up since I took the step. My stress levels have even dropped!

Canada is a gorgeous place and I DO miss it, but I've had a great time, meeting new people, and doing things I never would have had the chance to do back home.

Life will be great--and if anything does go wrong, you always have your home to go back to which will always be waiting with open arms no matter where you're from.

Yeah i know and thanks.

Before i was all up for it and thinking about he many +'s and i guess when there il start to remember all these. I really want the experience and personal growth but just seems hard just now.

So glad your doing well and love it.

Hey all,

I'm a little slow replying, but hope it helps nonetheless.

I've had a bit of the cold feet before each international move. It's because it's a BIG DEAL! There is good reason to feel worried, stressed, etc. You are transplanting yourself from surroundings of comfort, to what could be hard work settling in.

The first time I moved out of the country was to teach English on a rural island in Japan (population 3000, only accessible by ferry). I didn't feel settled there until almost 6 months into it. Not trying to scare you by any means! Just trying to prove that what you're feeling is normal.

Even when you move to a country where language is not an issue, there are cultural things to get used to. The trick is to try and not spend every waking moment comparing what you don't like to how great it is back home. That is an exercise in futility and will only compound your frustrations. Instead, try to find a way to laugh at it, marvel at it, whatever works, and then realize it's different in your new home and get on with life. Sometimes easier said than done

At the moment, I am finding the trick to staying sane on my second small island (though Barbados is quite large compared to my tiny island in Japan) is to leave periodically and get a breath of the rest of the world. Hence my current existence in Europe for the next few weeks

These days, keeping in touch at home is very easy as well. Skype, Vonage, MSN, ICQ, whatever works for you. We brought a voip phone to Barbados and can call home unlimited for extremely cheap. That helps a lot.

And every so often, just have a rant and get it all out. Then have a beverage of your choice and reflect how brave you are to up-and-leave the comfort of home to take on a new adventure. I know I'd have kicked myself if, in 10-20-30 years I looked back and said "I could have gone to live in (insert country here), but I was too afraid"

Go for it, and enjoy!
Foxy

Of course, you have to determine the reason for your cold feet. I don't remember having cold feet before moving to Holland to live with my (now) husband. But the stress when planning a last-minute move to the UK for a job recently was too much.

But reading a lot of the responses here, I realize that it wasn't just cold feet that made me change my mind. I say, if you have the money and the desire, go for it. Your cold feet will pass.

I just didn't feel secure in my decision for totally practical reasons, not fear of the unknown.