Help! No idea how to go about getting a green card

Hi everybody! BTW - it would be a great help if any of you are in the US military, but if not, read on. I'm from Ottawa and have been attempting to try to figure out how to get a green card to the States for ages. I was planning to finish my bachelor's degree in business and then move to the US to join the US Air Force. I was going to spend four years in the USAF as a weather forecaster (my secret passion, I decided to do it while I could) but I cannot join the US military without a green card. Apparently I must establish residency before applying to the Air Force. I'm willing to move to Texas (I've spent a lot of road trips there and love it) and live in an apartment and have a job for a few months to establish residency.

I have a few questions and the answers to any of these would be wonderful.

1) What classification would I fall under to get a green card? Could I have the US government "sponsor" me as an employer since I will ultimately be working for them?

2) Do I need a TN visa and live/work in the States before getting a green card? If so, how to I get one?

3) What are your experiences finding work in the States as a Canadian? (btw I'm white, I've heard stories if you're not)

Any extra info on this please let me know! I've also looked at the US Embassy website, the US Air Force website, and the US Immigration website but it didn't offer much help.

No, the US government will not sponsor you as an employer, if they did, you'd have seen something about it on the USAF website I guess.

If you are otherwise not eligible (ie: not in a profession on the list for TN visas) and don't have a company willing to hire you and sponsor you, then you can't get a TN visa.

AFAIK, you can't adjust status from TN visa to green card just to join the military. I think the only way to adjust status from a TN is to marry an american.

Why not just join the Canadian military ?

Well I was planning to eventually move to Texas and considering all the Air Force bases in that area (as well as Oklahoma), I would've been able to get a taste for living down there. Canada's Air Force is basically nonexistant (I'm not trying to be anti-Canadian in any way, it's just true. I work for DND) and really, I was going for the green card anyway to get a job in Texas eventually, so joining the Canadian military wouldn't help me at all.

And it's too darn cold up here!

Thanks for your help though