How to migrate to the USA and permanently unite with GF?

Hi all.

I was wondering if you anybody could help me with some questions I had about moving to the USA - it would be greatly appreciated.

I really want to move to the USA. I understand there are 3 ways. Through work visa, student visa or to get married.

WORK.

1. Do you need a job offer before you get a visa?
2. Do you need a visa before you get a job offer?

When I apply to U.S. jobs online, there is always a section that asks "Do you have the legal right to work in America?" and I always put "No" because I do not have a work permit (actually I have a diplomatic visa but that only allows me to work at consulates and embassies so I don't have the right to work at private companies).
I feel that because of my response, my application is automatically dismissed.

It seems like a catch-22. You need to have a visa to get a job and you need a job/sponsor to get a visa. HOW DO YOU GET AROUND THIS PROBLEM? I can't figure it out.

I have a Master’s degree in International Relations but don’t know if that qualifies me for the NAFTA/TN Visa. I am thinking about doing another MA in economics/finance b/c I believe it would qualify me for a TN Visa, does anybody know?

SCHOOL

If I am enrolled in an American school do I have the right to work there or just to study? I heard from somebody that if you are enrolled as a student in Canada, you are allowed to go migrate to the US temporarily on some sort of "exchange visa" and work in the U.S. for awhile after you have graduated. Is that true?

MARRIAGE

My American girlfriend and I are in a very serious relationship but are separated b/c we live in different countries. We have talked about getting married so that we could be together and we had the following questions.

If you get married to an American in the USA how long does it take to get a green card/working visa? Can you start to work immediately? If it is a long process, are you allowed to leave the country? Could I come back to Canada and continue working until the application process is finished rather than wait in the USA and not be able to work?
How long do you have to stay married – i.e. if we get a divorce 2 to 3 years later would I still be able to keep my green card?
If I am enrolled at a school in Canada and I get married in the USA, could I be separated from my wife for a year while I complete school in Canada and would that create any problems in getting a green card/work permit?
Could we get married and then immediately move to a third country (e.g. the UK) without it creating problems of me getting a green card? Would it count towards the number of years we would have to be together for me to keep my green card should we get a divorce?

Any help answering these questions/offering advice on how to permanently unite me with my girlfriend would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thank you so much for your time and help.

Have a nice day.

Best,

Brody

i to am looking for similar information i am a Canadian i met an American girl and were looking to get married and im looking to live in the u.s with her and was looking for information on how to go about doing that any help would be truly grateful

My husband finally got his Canadian citizenship card so we can get out of the US. Visit the US before you immigrate. My husband's mother was born in Canada, and the government just gave everybody their Canadian citizenship if they had a parent born in Canada.

We were the first in line. It took a year. The US is exciting, fun, and extremely expensive and dangerous. People are buying guns and strapping them to their belts, displaying them openly. Like they did in the 1800s. The Mexican nationals are trying to re-take a lot of the U.S. thru drug cartels.

The government is entirely ridiculous, they've gone stupid now. We have a bunch of nazis running around calling themselves Republicans, and we just heard that some of these wackos are mounting heavy artillary on the backs of their trucks.

You'll go broke just trying to live here, there are no jobs really, people hate Canadians, we have a Maple Leaf on our car, and a guy tried to run us off the road.

There are lots of Canadians living here, not enough, but most of them want to leave. The only Canadians who stay here are movie stars because it costs a fortune.

Just visit, get your U.S. fix, and run home. We have to sell everything, and figure out where to live and start over.