Is there no other way in?

My wife and I were thinking about maybe moving to the states in the future, but it looks like we don't qualify for ANY of the visas. Is there no other way in? Long story short, I'm sick of winter,I'm sick of the CRTC, GST, and governments that can't make up their minds what they stand for. I'm actually considering going back to school so that I would qualify. Is that bad?

Government is governement no matter where you go. But here in the US it is "un-patriotic" to criticize them. At least in Canada its a national sport!

You could try to get a student visa, but then what would your wife do?

http://www.finaid.org/scholarships/scams.phtml (read this first)
http://www.edupass.org/finaid/
http://www.edupass.org/finaid/canadian.phtml
http://www.fastweb.com

If you don't qualify for the TN Visa, depending on your financial situation you may want to consider starting a business in the U.S. whereby you can get the E2-visa (treaty investor work visa).

There are numerous ways to provide the investment, and if you are serious about this, speak to a good lawyer who can provide solutions.