Long distance relationships

[sharon]

I met my boyfriend on line, we are both in Canada but we are 6 hours away from each other.Separated by sea.
The hardest thing I find is the sneaky little thoughts that go through your head.what's he doing, he said he was doing (whatever) this evening.why doesn't he answer the phone.
I am trying to prepare to not have contact with him for close to 2 months, the loneliness is awful but I am determined that this will not cause any break up also the thought that he may want to just end it.HELP! How can I get this out of my head! I need to talk to someone else who has found the same thing and to find out how they have conquered these ridiculous feelings!

[smurff]

Hello,
We have been married for 30 years. Two years ago when I took this assignment, it was supposed to be for six months, or a year maximum. Time went on, and after 28 months, I am thinking of two more years here, and ten years total in Asia or middle east. We see twice or thrice a year, but I call home every day. Things are not too bad for me, as I am buzy at work, and have made a lot of friends here. For her, it is a little more difficult, but she understands that the money is so good that we have to carry on.
This year, we have decided to see each other more often, and longer.

[GhostRider]

I am originally from Saskatchewan, my wife from Houston. That was a LONG ways away. We made it work but we took it slow, we were honest with each other and we communicated like there was no tommorrow. We were friends for over a year before we became more than that and we talked some more for nearly a year after that.

Slow and steady, communication and honesty. That will build trust, it will built intimacy and it is a good insurance policy in general.

[epmcintyre]

I met my boyfriend in Banff, I was there studying and he was teaching there. He's Argentinian (then living and studying in Germany). I spent my last 2 years at UBC travelling often to stay with him in Germany and finally moved there to get a job when I graduated in 2003. We've since moved to Faro, Portugal where we live, and we're having the best time we've ever had. We learned not to take each other for granted. If you're long distance, it's extra work to keep those phone calls and emails frequent and love-filled. but very much worth it). He was always as committed and I was, and we've made it work. No cheating, no painful times. We're having a great life, and here's my advice: keep going with your own projects when you move somewhere for someone else. I was scared I wouldn't be able to work or have any €, but I had to push myself to be independant and think for myself, as if I had moved for the experience of travelling. (We both play in the same orchestra now and do business at home. manage a chamber music ensemble, and we're practically married). I can barely even remember being lonely and rained-out in Vancouver my whole life before this Emily

[Clapoti]

I met that girl online. I was in Canada at the time. wanted to work in Europe one day. she was living in Berlin.

I decided that it was time to find a job in Europe. hopefully Berlin. I ended up in Villingen-Schwenningen (south of Germany 750 km from Berlin). We met, it worked out. we are now going out for 6 months. I'm looking for a job in Berlin right now. We see each other every 2 or 3 weekends, I usually go there. it take 7 to 8 hours of train, then I spend like 36 hours with her then come back again with a 7 to 8 hours trip.

Now we have to wait for 5 weeks because her roommate is selfish and need to study for her exam and doesn't want me to be there. I don't even talk to her when I'm there. anyway.

That long distance relationship is hard but if you really love the person it's worth it. I don't really believe in that one person for you, but if that thing is true I'm pretty sure it's her.

I could relate to some of your stories too. what Sharon says : "The hardest thing I find is the sneaky little thoughts that go through your head.what's he doing, he said he was doing (whatever) this evening.why doesn't he answer the phone." I tried to be less worried now. but in the beginning it was awful.

Anyway if you want more information feel free to contact me.

[Nottsbabe]

I'm a Canadian in a long distance relationship with a Brit right now and honestly I love the guy more every day and miss him more every day. We met in a chatroom 2 years ago and hit it off as instant friends. We chatted here and there for a year, with fondness for eachother, but nothing more as we were both in serious relationships. Then, my marriage started falling apart and his relationship fell apart. I comforted and was there for him and in that whole process of just being there as a friend we allowed ourselves to get to know eachother on a more emotionally intimate level and found ourselves falling in love. I was still married at the time so I fought it for a long time. But I knew my marriage was over so I eventually gave in...I left my marriage and soon there after went to meet my guy. We hit it off almost instantly We were both pretty shy for the first hour or so Anyways, it just cemented our feelings for eachother so after a few amazing months together I came back to Canada and got a job and started saving. I'm now just waiting to try for an ancestry visa as my gran was born in Scotland. I'm so nervous and hopeful and desparately in love...but I'll tell you one thing, this journey may be diffuclt at times, but it's been worth it, so well worth it. If you have any questions please feel free to ask

[lori.garrett]

Good to hear the positive. I'm a Canadian dating a Canadian living in the US (on TN visa). As I only have a 2 year Human Services Diploma,& extensive Program Management experience, I don't see that I fall into any category to qualify for TN visa. Can't imagine doing the long distance thing for years, if the end result is still that I don't qualify. Any advice?

[Reba]

Get married and get a TD visa?