So I bit the bullet and got up at 5 AM to head to the passport office here in Victoria.
I looked into going to Vancouver's passport office but heard the lines were just as long.
Got into the line at around 5:30 AM and it was already almost around the block. Sat in my chair and froze for a little while (should have brought a blanket). Got to talking to the other people in line who almost all had been in lineups the previous days and didn't get in. One guy had been there since 8 AM and still didn't get through by 4:30 PM.
Finally at around 7:45 the line started moving as people were let into the building. Then a crappy local radio station (KOOL fm. It's just not cool to spell cool unless you put a 'k' in it) shows up and started blaring Shania Twain. Isn't freezing outside in the early morning torture enough?
So after we heckled the radio station, the line moved up some more. At least the radio gave some people free coffee. Though most agreed they'd rather trade the coffee to turn off their music.
8:30 and the office officially opens, so the line moves up more. A woman comes around and hands everyone tickets, which don't seem to mean anything. I asked the woman "So does this mean I can leave and get breakfast, come back, and my place in line is still good?" - "No".
So what the point of the numbers are I don't know. But then a few minutes later a guy comes over and says "Hey, I'm at the front of the line but I have to leave. I'll sell you my spot for $50"
So I give him $40 and we call it a deal. I get into the elevator right away, up into the office, and 20 minutes later I'm done. Definitely the best $40 I've spent in a while.

Apparently the woman in front of me paid someone $100 to get to the front of the line.
Another guy had paid a bum the night before since he was sleeping on the street anyays.Just asked him to sleep in front of the passport office. But when he showed up in the morning, the bum was gone. No big surprise!
Anyways so my passport adventure is over, for hopefully another 5 years. I paid the extra $5 for the fatter passport so I don't have to worry about this again.