Wedding advice

I'm a permanent resident in Australia, living here with my Aussie fiance. We just got engaged and I'm overwhelmed with the idea of having a ceremony back home in Canada and one here, choosing one or the other, or going somewhere neutral. Or eloping to avoid all this...

Any advice?

My Australian husband and I just got married 3 weeks ago, in Canada. It made more sense for us because unfortunately, his parents have both already passed away, and so going there - where my parents live - meant they could really help us out and be involved. Another reason we chose to get married in Canada is that more of our Australian friends were in a financial position to come to Canada for the wedding, whereas my Canadian friends, many of whom are still in school doing their masters/phDs etc are not in a position where that would have been possible.

My own personal extra reason for wanting to get married in Canada, is that Australia does not allow same-sex marriage, and in the standard wording in Australia, the marriage officiant specifically HAS to say that marriage in Australia is between 1 man and 1 woman to the exclusion of all others. Now I am a woman who married a man, but there was no way I could have that wording as a part of my marriage ceremony. I don't want to start a debate here about that, but all I'm saying is that it was something that was very important to me.

Besides all that, while we're living in Melbourne at the moment, we do plan to make Canada our home eventually (we're both finishing our current work contracts and applying for his Canadian PR at the moment) so it seemed like a good start to our future lives together to marry there.

You need to figure out what is important to you in regards to your wedding, and pick the place that will allow you to have MOST of what YOU want, whether that is Australia or Canada or somewhere in between (Honolulu?). My reasons for marrying in Canada are things that would really only apply to me, and so it's really difficult to advise you as to where you should get married, because your reasons will be different, and will be personal to you. Just remember to do what YOU want and don't let anyone guilt you into the decision. You can always throw another reception (or just a casual party if the budget is an issue) in whichever country you don't choose, so that the people who cannot travel can feel included.

Also, wherever you do it, remember to get someone to video the ceremony... since we returned to Oz, EVERYONE wants to watch our wedding video so they can feel like they were there, or at least that they got to see it.

*Just wanted to add one last thing... I think eloping is definitely the way to go for a lot of couples, I'm sure many people are really glad they did it. I definitely said many times leading up to the wedding that I wished we'd eloped. However, 3 weeks later, I wouldn't have changed that day for the world, and having all my family and friends there was what made it all worthwhile.