Missing home

Canadian Expats and travelers in the USA can communicate with each other here!
cheekybeaverNew Member
{ AUTHOR_TOPIC }
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed May 12, 2004 11:51 am
Location: Long Island, NY

Missing home

Post Wed May 12, 2004 12:09 pm

Hi
I'm new. I've been living in the US (specifically Long Island) for about 4.5 years now after I married my husband who is American. (For those of you who are debating how to stay in the US and which visa to apply for...I share your pain because even after all this time my green card still isn't finalized)
Anyway, I'm just feeling a little blue today as I'm missing my Canadian home. Life on Long Island is certainly different from my hometown of Calgary and after 4+ years I'm still not used to it. Doubt that I will ever be as the pace of life here is a bit nuts.
Glad I found this site...I don't feel so much like the lone Canadian in the crowd. :wink:
MelinaNew Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 3:46 pm
Location: NH/MA

Post Tue May 18, 2004 3:58 pm

Oh no!! I've been in the USA for 3 years and I was hoping it would get better! I want to go home. I feel your pain. I just can't put my finger on why I just don't mesh well. I've made friends, I've intergrated as much as anyone can but it still feels "off". What is it?

Take care of yourself!

Melina
cheekybeaverNew Member
{ AUTHOR_TOPIC }
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed May 12, 2004 11:51 am
Location: Long Island, NY

Post Wed May 19, 2004 5:50 am

*shrug* I dunno why it feels different. I have a feeling it's a combo of things. For starters, the pace of life here (specifically Long Island) moves at a much faster speed. I always feel like I'm running...just to keep up.
And I don't care what anyone says, the people in NY ARE, in general, rude. But again, everyone is in a rush...goes with that fast pace thing.
It's more polluted, more expensive.
It's exhausting.
Oh...and ironically, I miss the cold winters. We get snow here. We get chilly here...but I'm talking the Canadian cold winters where skin freezes under 60 seconds. Never thought I'd miss that...but I do.

Anyway...I have to get back to work here...
MelinaNew Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 3:46 pm
Location: NH/MA

Post Wed May 19, 2004 10:51 am

That's funny. I find the people here a bit rude too. However, in New Hampshire life seems to be moving at a snails pace. I go to boston a lot and that feels a bit more like home to me. i've never been to long island, what is it like?

My husband lived there for two years and said that it would be "okay' for us to live there. He is actually Dutch, so we are both non-americans living here. It gets hectic around visa renewal time!

Take care of yourself!

Melina
cheekybeaverNew Member
{ AUTHOR_TOPIC }
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed May 12, 2004 11:51 am
Location: Long Island, NY

Post Wed May 19, 2004 11:06 am

I really don't care for Long Island much. The traffic is unreal. It used to be mostly farmland once upon a time but now it's over-populated. Lots of people move to Long Island from NYC and the building keeps pushing further and further east. I'm on the eastern end of the island myself and the amount of building and traffic and people is unbelievable. The only place on the island that still has it's farm roots is the north and south fork. They have wine country there and of course the Hamptons but I don't think it will be too far into the future before those areas are built up like it is on the rest of the island.
I think if I had lots and lots of money I would enjoy Long Island more because then I could live along the coast in the scenic areas that are so far off the beaten path that most people don't go there. But, I live in the middle of the island where all the poor to upper-middle class live. It's riddled with block after block of strip malls. The taxes are unbelievably high and yet the roads look like they've been bombed from the air. And there is no planning for residential vs commercial areas. It's like they just plow down trees and throw something on it...never thinking how it might effect the traffic flow or what's on the land next to it. It's bizarre.
Anyway...I'm biased to the negative on Long Island. Oh...and the summers are too hot and humid for me. But that could be almost the entire eastern coast...not really Long Island's fault.
How do you enjoy living near Boston? I've heard it's a nice city but I've never been.
confused_canuckNew Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue May 04, 2004 3:39 pm
Location: Stranded in California

Post Wed May 26, 2004 9:41 am

hi everyone,

the whole "intergrated as much as anyone can but it still feels "off" - What is it?" issue made me laugh. It's so true. I too never thought I'd miss the snow but I do (I'm out in California) - and I'm a Torontonian who cursed the snow!

I wonder if I'll ever get adjusted out here. My bf is American who's found a good job out here; I'm debating whether or not to marry him to be with him. I want to start a life with him but miss home so much.

SuzyQPA2, your post brought back a lot of memories of home for me - and also why it feels so different here. You're right about the 'thin-skinnedness' - another thing I miss is the Canadian sense of humour! - and the wastefulness. It's not like Canada is a utopia where everything is perfect - lord knows that we have our own landfill issues! - but it's just...
[i]different[/i]. I'm heading back home at the end of the month and always joked that I can probably only stomach a certain number of months here in the States before coming "home".

I like what Martin Short said (I think it was him - or another one of the 5,000 Canadian actors in the States): it was something like "American is where I live, but Canada will always be my home".

- confused Canuck (Kahluagal)
cdngirl80New Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 3:57 am
Location: Seattle, WA

Post Mon May 31, 2004 4:07 am

I'm right there with ya with the green card situation. The INS (or BCIS or whatever they're called now) extended my conditional 2 year one last year and I'm still waiting on them to start the process on the 10 year one. It probably doesn't help that I moved and had to change processing centres but still...ugh!
dayna annNew Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:55 am

Post Wed Jun 09, 2004 1:08 pm

I went home last month for a week and it was wonderful. I have been in the USA for 4 years. Some things I have adapted well to and like very much...other things (giant cockroaches, guns, high crime, rudeness, corrupt politicians and police forces) I am still having a very tough time with.
I have tried hard to make friends and reach out. Unfortunately I haven't had much luck connecting with people that I really click with. 4 years is a long time to be trying. It is so frusterating. I sympathize will everyone who is having this "friend" issue.
cdngirl80New Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 3:57 am
Location: Seattle, WA

Friends, humour, home

Post Wed Jun 09, 2004 8:53 pm

Reading everyone's posts on here is just...amazing. You're describing everything I'm feeling! I've always thought of myself as a patriotic Canadian, but it wasn't until I moved to the States that I became almost fanatical about it. Maybe it's because the Americans I've come in contact with (my husband, included) are just so...UNAWARE of Canadians and our culture and diversity, that I feel it's my duty to educate them. *LOL*

I'm going "home" in a month!!! I'll be there for a week, and I absolutely can't wait! And I just found out today that I get to go again in August (just the the weekend, though) because my uncle's getting married. I'm so excited. I have a feeling I'll gain about 30 just from Tim Horton's, but oh well...it'll be weight well gained. *LOL* And HARVEY'S!!! Ohhhhhh, I can just taste their burgers now. It's been so long....

Dayna Ann, I can totally commiserate with you about the friends thing. I left Canada at 19 and at that age, I was naive enough to think that friends were "forever" and all that. But 4 years IS a long time, and even with email, it's hard to stay in touch with everyone. I think it's also that my old friends and I are on completely different paths now, and don't/can't understand each other's lives as well as we could before.

And making friends here...well, I made a lot of friends in San Diego, and am lucky enough to still stay close with them, but I'm having a harder time here in Seattle. That's why I love the internet though...there are so many other people out there who understand what I'm going through...I don't feel so alone. :)

Q
pkennedy1990

Living in the States

Post Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:38 am

If you think 4 years is a long time, try 18 years, your mother is from there (Louisiana-Mississippi Choctaw) your Canadian side of the family is all dead, you're being mistaken for an American everywhere you go, because you're First Nations are getting treated like "nigger" everywhere you go (check out Harlem or the Bronx if you don't know what I mean!) your mother's side of the family is not allowing you to register with Indian Affairs to get your benefits to go to college on, and the only part of the entire country where you can get any relief from all that is the city limits of San Francisco, 7 square miles of sanity.
Now I have noticed that most Canadians who go to the States and get treated like Americans don't mind as much, but they are not the First Nations ones. Only visible minorities in the States get treated like dirt. So when I say "getting mistaken for American" like it's a BAD thing, when you're First Nations getting mistaken for "nigger" everywhere you go, England included, that's what I mean. The women at the Canadian Embassy here in London caught on almost immediately to what I'm talking about.
So if you've only been there 4 years, you're lucky. After 18 years of being treated "like American" I'm ready for a PADDED CELL.

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